Don't Quit The Day Job, Lady.

The Trips filled out one of those super-cute questionnaires about me at school a while back, in what was supposed to be a "Kids say the darnedest things" exercise.  I ended up nearly devastated.  Not because they all listed me as being in my 80's (really, who cares).  No, it's that none of them thought I was funny.  I know I'm not hilarious, not even close.  That title belongs to my sister and a couple other people I've met along the way in my years of existence.

So apparently I am some sort of ogre.  Not funny and certainly not cute, at least in the eyes of three of my children.  Okay, okay, I look nice when I go to weddings and birthday parties, which was three times last year. 

John tried to be The Hero and pulled each kid aside and told them to LIE and tell me I was funny.  Here's how it went down:

I overhear John whispering to Johnny "Go tell Mommy she's funny".

Johnny: "Hey Mommy."

Me: "Yes, Johnny?"

Johnny: "She's funny."

Me: "Who's funny?"

Johnny:  {Shoulder shrug}  "I don't know."  Walks away.

Cue Gracie, who does the Gracie swagger to the kitchen.

Gracie:  "Hey Mommy. You're funny."  Then, over her shoulder as she walks away: "But you're really not."

Me: "Thanks, Gracie."

NEXT!

Lizzy: "Hey  Mommy.  Daddy told me to tell you you're funny."  Walks away.

Me: "Thanks, Lizzy."

It's fairly obvious I have some work to do on my stand-up.

An example of the offensive opinions from the peanut gallery.

By the way, they are RARELY told to eat all their dinner.