Friday, January 13, 2012

The Unmentionables

It had been way too long since brand-new skivvies have been introduced to my dresser.  As in, 8-10 years too long.  As in, the rotation had dwindled to the low single-digits. So I finally took an opportunity and went to a random store in search of some undergarments.   The whole process was nearly overwhelming and I wish someone at Kohl's would have been able to just show me where the normal stuff is that doesn't have pictures of unicorns or scratchy material.  Somehow I feel help never would have come.

After poking around and wasting 20 minutes of my precious time, I grabbed some smallclothes that didn't appear atrocious and also might fit size-wise (and how does one know the right size after 10 years and 5 kids?).

Got home, opened up the package, and  was surprised at how HUGE these babies were!  I checked the box (I obviously spent loads of $$ here) and everything seemed fine.  Maybe they'll shrink in the wash.  Oh boy.  John's going to make fun of me when he sees my enormous underwear.  I'm going to be chastised for being cheap. Dang it!!! What a waste of time.  I could have taken a serious nap and now I'm stuck with hideous granny-gear.

Wash, dry, grrr.  I can't believe I'm wasting laundry detergent on these things.

So it was out of desperation the next morning that  I grabbed a pair and...they fit.  The enormous underwear I bought fit onto a bottom that I obviously believed was smaller than reality.

Depression.  Ice-cream needing depression.


Rebecca Brown said...

Laughing out loud so hard my kids have come in to check on me. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOU, and if you ever saw them, my green pair of 'roos would make you feel better. Funniest thing is I'm also down to single digits. Seriously, we need to go get a drink and swap stories or--better yet--talk about anything other than kids!

JenHahn said...

I don't want to laugh at this, for your sake. But I am. Mostly because I, too, had to double check the last package of underwear I bought when I pulled it out and it look large enough for 3 of me. And then they also fit after I washed them. I think they must have shrunk to 1/3 their original size. MUST have.