Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A Helpful Hint

Please do not ask a parent of triplets if they:
a. used fertility
b. did in-vitro
c. had "help" (one of my favorites)
d. used medicine (what???)
e. did this "naturally" (another favorite)
f. were "surprised" (a back-door way to ask if fertility treatments were used)
g. there are more but I think the point has been made

I do not hide the fact that John and I did fertility treatments and I also do not mind if people automatically assume such. It just is not polite to ask. It requires me to provide a nice response to an invasive question, which goes against my horrible nature. It makes me want to ask about your sex life and your reproductive system so that you understand how incredibly rude you just were, even if you did not mean it and are just curious. It is okay to wonder if something as bizarre as triplets happened spontaneously (I do, too, when I see a set). It is not okay to open your mouth and have said wonder spew forth.

I would write more but then I would start sounding defensive and petty.

Deep breath...


rachael said...

well said...

BKicklighter said...

Preach it.
I like you.

sarah acosta said...

My sweet Kitty, I had no idea that was so offensive. I hope I didn't ask you those questions, and if I did I hope you can forgive me for doing so. I love you!
Sarah Beara

Mary said...

I didn't realize it was so offensive either. But now I know, so I won't say anything stupid :-) I think I kind of get numb to stuff being offensive since I work in the medical field. More often than not I hear WAY MORE INFO/TMI than I want to know from my patients. I start to assume that info sharing is normal.

Kelly said...

Amen sister!! Don't even get me started on the stupid questions people ask....maybe we should get together and come up with a list of good responses (ie...are all those kids yours? No, I thought I'd borrow a few neighbors to bring with me here to the grocery store since I find doing a week's worth of shopping with four little kids so relaxing.)

Kitty Laird said...

Any time, Kelly. Any time. Actually, I've found in my short time of triplet mamahood that a quick "yes" or "no" w/a smile (usually forced) and continuing on my course is enough.