I can't think of an interesting title for this post...

I was driving somewhere today (I actually can't remember where right now - how pathetic) and had a hopeful glimpse of what the future will look like for Chez Laird: the local high school girls' cross country team was on a training run and it was a short stride to envision one (or all 4 - dare I dream?) of my kidlets joyfully bounding along with teammates every day after school.


The high school our kids will attend has a great cc tradition and, while I know I can't make any of the crumbgobblers run, I have hope that one of them will. Please, oh, please. There's something magical about watching 100+ athletes, toes on the start line, anxiously waiting for the gun. It's silent. The trees are changing colors. The temperature is in that perfect range that allows for a long-sleeved t-shirt and shorts. Sometimes it's raining and that's even better.

Anyway, I was driving and saw the 30+ members of the girls' team, all chatting to each other on their 5-mile run, having the best time together, and I hope someone else in my family gets to experience that.

Oh, To Have A Nanny...

...to unload the kids on for days like today. AC was about one more mini-tantrum away from discovering her own mortality and the wee ones all ganged up on The Mommy in one big sobbing, drooling, spewing, clawing, scratching, hair-yanking-out-of-my-ponytail (can't STAND that!), mess. They're in cahoots.

Classic AC (the first kidlet)

AC packing for me

Our oldest is hilarious and quirky, as most people probably believe about their firstborn. She was the product of 6 years of prayer and way too much infertility treatment and she provides a whole lot of entertainment and stories. She also provides a lot of frustration and that is because she is 3 going on 30. Anyhow, there will be occasional posts about something goofy she has done and this is one...mostly to stick in my memory and for those who know her well.

AC decided to pack for me for my trip to Nashville. She likes to pack suitcases, mostly because it's a great way to express her need for organization. She LOVES to organize things and she actually does it well. I let her pack for me (after I got what I really needed in there) because it kept her busy for 45 minutes while I fed the trips lunch. It seemed heavy when I carried it downstairs, but I didn't have time to go through it to take everything out. She would have noticed me doing this anyway and then the world would have ended. It just wasn't worth it.

When I opened up my suitcase that night, I laughed so hard and would have taken a picture right then if I had remembered my camera (curses!!). Each compartment held something different and "necessary": all my brushes, 4 different lotions, q-tips, tampons and pads, notecards, about $1.25 in change, fingernail polish, saline solution, dental floss, one of those mardi-gras-type necklaces from St. Patrick's day, nursing bra pads, an extra shirt, lots of extra underwear, pj's (which I don't wear anyway...that sounds bad...it's just that I'm the classic t-shirt/shorts sort of girl), and some winter socks which also did not match. I kept the pile of stuff and took a pic when I returned (minus the couple things most guys don't care to see):

That's my girl. She'll be one of those people you want with you when you travel because she will pack for every possible situation...even if you need nursing bra pads.

Brace Yourself For Some Whining...

I'm tired of:

1. Not having time to go for a run
2. Eating the same amount of food all the time even though I'm NOT running
3. My clothes not fitting properly because I'm NOT RUNNING
4. Actually having time to run last night, but it was raining
5. Summer is ending and Darkness is arriving earlier and earlier = less opportunity to go for a run because I'm a huge chicken and afraid of the crazies who lurk the dark, even though we live in the safest city in our area and nothing would happen
6. Feeling junky and gross because I'm not running

I don't really enjoy any other form of exercise. I've been running for 23 years now and it is one of my main forms of stress relief. I get a lot of life sorted out while running (I refuse to listen to music) and it's probably one of the reasons why I've managed to stay out of therapy for so many years. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my children, but I would be a better mother if I had time to escape a bit.

*KJ - I know you'll read this and get all over my case about how I need to make more effort to get out...I'm doing my best and thanks for caring about me. :)

Road meanderings

As previously mentioned, my husband surprised me with a mini-break from life here with a trip to Nashville to visit a friend. It was wonderful and definitely helped fill my empty spiritual well which had been dry for months. I think I've tried to keep in touch with my friend, KJ, because she is the kind of person who challenges me to rethink the aspects of my life where I don't feel change is necessary. I don't feel any walls with her (I could be wrong, but that's my perception) and that isn't terribly common in my life. It isn't absent in my world here, but how often do I have time to spend, alone in conversation, with these friends?
The actual point of this post, however, is that I was forced to be alone with my thoughts for 10 hours in the car (especially when the cd player quit working on the way back. grrr...). It was awful and fabulous and has definitely helped with my attitude. Those close to me may disagree with this, but I willingly came to accept some things which had been upsetting to me these last few months. Issues that had actually hurt (this is hard to do to me) and still do, sort of. But the hurt is less because, in most cases, I haven't had time to give to others. Yes, yes, 4 kids ages 3 and under do not make giving simple, blah, blah, blah. Some people, even though they understand this, still don't really get it. They're great, but damage has been done and it's up to me to fix it. It's a long, bumpy road ahead, so pray for me as I slowly, slowly come out of the
kidlet cocoon and restart life. The story goes on.

Melancholy

I used to coach high school track and cross-country. I managed to do this when I had AC and it was so fun to bring her to practice - she thought she owned the high school where I coached. I wish I could bring all the kidlets, but nothing would get done and it wouldn't be fair to the athletes.

Anyway, practice for Fall sports started this past Monday and I really miss coaching. I miss my girls (even the ones that drove me bananas). I miss practice. I miss the anxiety/excitement/hope of the meets. I miss seeing my girls at the starting line, so proud of them for working so hard to get there, and I miss watching them finish the race, so proud of them for taking the risk of running harder than they ever had in their lives.

I'm a bit sad this week and can't wait until I coach again.

Olympic Fever

You know your husband has it when he's calling you in to see a replay of men's gymnastics (which he stays up late to watch the team finals) and he also stays up to watch the women's team. I would never hide my love for the Games, but this is cracking me up. I love you, baby!!