Honestly, People.

Tonight, for the fourth time in as many months, I was asked a version of the question "When are you due?". This would be barely tolerable IF I WAS PREGNANT, but I'm not.

Listen. I don't care who asks the next time, or says (as in the case tonight) "Oh, so I see we're adding another one to your brood!". I will not laugh it off, or help make you feel better, or lightly toss out some silly remark that will make you laugh.

I will not be sweet. I will not help you out of the mess your mouth created. I will try to refrain from punting you as far as I can, but that is not a promise.

This is getting ridiculous.

I Don't Care If You're Cold!

The Laird children were aching to have The Stink blown off them, so when the sun finally decided to prove its existence last week - I flung them outside. It was a brisk 40 degrees, but oh so worth it. The picnic table was dragged out of the garage, spots were claimed, and snacks distributed.

First there were two. Johnny couldn't be bothered - he had to re-orient himself to the yard he hadn't seen in months. Oh, and Lizzy did not have a head wound. She just likes having a band-aid on her forehead and Ainsley loves indulging her.

But then the desire for pretzels took over and he joined the table. Gracie was not happy and kept trying to push him off her side. You can see her pointing her finger as she said "NO Johnny! You sit over THERE!". My sweet little bossy thing.

Freak-out over. Heaven forbid Gracie ever has someone in her personal space. Just like her momma.

Trying To Stay Calm

Two of my girls like the cool boys and I'm worried. Gracie has a crush on dread-locked Charlie on Clifford, and Ainsley thinks long-haired Imagination Mover Scott is the berries.

Lizzy doesn't discriminate.

I know it is WAY too early to freak out...but I'm freaking out.

Not really, of course, but you know what I mean. I have visions of weirdo boys (or any boys, for that matter) having the audacity to show up at our doorstep for any ridiculous reason and it will take everything I have to allow them the privilege to glance in my daughters' direction.

Conflicted

Our sweet, sweet boy. He is surrounded by only girls and lots of girly things for the better part of his days. So, he knows all the princesses (Sleeping Beauty is his favorite), walks better in heels than any female in our family, and is as comfortable running around in a princess dress as he is a fireman's costume. On the other hand, he makes impressive vehicle and tiger noises, has a true need to tackle anything that breathes, and laughs like crazy when he forces out bodily noises. He told me the other day, very seriously, that John is "My buddy". He loves, loves, loves his Daddy.

John and I joke that he is conflicted, but I really just think he's going to be an amazing husband and dad. If he has girls, they'll be incredibly lucky.

A bus in one hand and a purse on the elbow. What to choose??

Love Marketing

Wrap something in pink or make it smaller or put a heart on it, and my day is a little brighter. I'm every marketer's dream.

My newest favorite:



Because grown-up television viewing is abnormal around here, I missed out on all the advertising that went along with this new campaign. So when I pulled out a perfectly chilled can of near-delish (only real Coke is truly such) and saw that sweet little heart - my insides did a little happy dance.

I am not at all embarrassed, either. Because when the noise level is concert-level for the 4th hour in a row, something fun and unexpected really keeps me from going totally loco.

10 Things

I'm bored. I should not be - if you saw my house you would give me the head-shake as you scan The Disaster. There's always something to do around here...

So I felt it would be a wise use of my time to come up with two lists that don't deserve the energy output I'm giving them.

10 Things I'm Enjoying These Days:


1. Listening to the kiddos talk to each other when they're supposed to be sleeping

2. Reading "chapter books" to Ainsley.

3. Being grumpy

4. An old friend's debut album. You can listen to bits and pieces here if you're feeling lazy right now. Ainsley requests "Emily's Songs" every time she's in the car.

5. Beverages. Not too many, mind you.

6. Caffeine. Lots and lots of yummy caffeine.

7. A bible study that is kicking my rear. Yes, I go to bible study and I like it. But it means I should do something about #3 and I really, really enjoy being grumpy sometimes.

8. John. We're finally staggering out of the low-budget flick Triplets: Pregnancy and The Early Years and it's nice to know he's still pretty awesome. And funny. The guy is really really funny.

I couldn't come up with 10. The next list flew off my fingertips.

10 Things I Want To Punt:

1. This woman in my area who runs with her long, long, long hair down so it's flopping all over the place. My blood pressure goes through the roof every time I see her. If you know who she is, please, please ask her to use a ponytail holder so I don't have to deal with my heart rate unnecessarily shooting into the 200's every other day.

2. My entire wardrobe that doesn't fit as nicely as it did 6 months ago

3. Germs. I think the nebulizer was turned on 5 or 6 times today and it will be more tomorrow.

4. Gray hair

5. Gray hair and zit combo - very, very unfair

6. Having to listen to the kiddos start screaming every morning between 5:30-5:45. Must. Stop.

7. The word "no". Usually expressed as "NO!!".

8. The people who ask me if we were "surprised" when we found out we were having triplets.
Listen, you may believe this a polite way to try to find out if we had medical intervention. It is not.

9. The person who discovered "fat grams". I would be better off blissfully ignorant. Now I have to battle guilt. And lose.

10. Warm diet soda.

She Is My Child, But...

I don't know where she learned the phrase "get your brows done". I mean, she's seem me attempt to tame mine, but I'm 100% certain the girl has never heard those words cross my lips.

Ainsley occasionally plays "beauty parlor" with the triplets and her latest question to them is "Do you want to get your brows done?". First she takes a cotton ball and wipes it over each brow "to soften it up", and then she uses a Q-Tip to "shape it". A few days ago I walked into my room to see Gracie compliantly reclined on a bunch of pillows while Ainsley made her fabulous.

Where in the world?

Evidence:





The funny thing is, none of the three jerked away while she made them pretty. They just let her do it - and she had a vice grip on their little heads, too.